Fair Play
by The Crow and the Butterfly
Summary: In which Tono manages to make a game of cards a bit more interesting. "Humiliating how?" he asked, chuckling at her expression. "Humiliating as in you've just thrown your bra on the ground, or humiliating as in I'm kicking your ass at Uno?" One-shot.


Because I get random flashes of inspiration while at street fairs, and because I've been missing Tono lately, and because Tono and Misaki have the same birthday (June 14th. So does Yuu, but I couldn't possibly fit him into this. I'll have to write him something too), it seemed like a good excuse to write them something, and I couldn't finish my huge ambitious one in time so therefore had to settle for this.

And now, a quote I stumbled upon that seemed to fit perfectly:

* * *

"Sometimes, I wish the right thing and the topless thing were the same thing!"

-Michael Kelso

* * *

Someone knocked on the door when she was in the middle of moving her dresser for the third time. First she thought it'd go nicely in the little alcove on the North wall, but it hadn't fit. She'd then enlisted the help of a few doppelgangers to push it next to the window, but she'd decided to put her bookcase there in the end. At present, her dresser was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, she was wondering whether she ought to just put it back where it had been in the first place, rethinking the position of her bed as well, and all she'd succeeded in doing was making a long scratch in the horrifyingly nice wood floors.

Misaki was slightly reluctant to let anyone in at this point. Both she and her room were a bit of a mess. Clothes, furniture and nearly everything else she owned was strewn about at random. She was dressed in an old sweatshirt that might have been Tsubasa's at one point but she'd had too long to remember (or care) and a pair of pale pink athletic shorts that she only wore whenever she didn't plan on seeing anyone.

She didn't really know who it would be. She'd only been in the high school division a few hours, and couldn't confidently find her own room yet, much less anyone else's.

"What do you need?" she questioned loudly enough to be heard through the door.

"Come on, Misaki-chan," replied her visitor. "You know it goes 'who's there.' Let's try this again. Knock, knock."

She rolled her eyes, but decided to humor him. "Fine then, who's there?"

"I can't think of a good joke," he said after a moment of silence. "Could you just let me in anyway, please?" Misaki brushed a hand back through her hair, sighed heavily, and opened the door on Akira Tonouchi.

"Surprise," he grinned. "It's me."

"I had no idea," she replied, placing a hand on her hip. "Why are you here, exactly?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. Just felt like throwing you a Welcome-to-the-Neighborhood party."

She looked around. "Some party."

"Alright, perhaps 'party' is the wrong word," he agreed. "Visit, then?"

"Can't you go bug Tsubasa?" Misaki asked. "I mean, not that you're not welcome, but can you please," she wondered if there was an appropriate way to say this, "Get the hell out of my room?"

His hand flew to his chest in mock offense. "Well, if you're going to be like that," he exclaimed, "Then I don't know why I even bothered."

"Look, it's not a good time," Misaki replied. "Look at this, it's a mess. _I'm_ a mess."

"You look fine," he chuckled, ruffling her hair. He took her indignant squirm out from under his arm as an opportunity to enter, closing the door behind him. "And, in your room's defense, all you have to do is get your dresser out of the way so you can actually move around in here."

"See, this is why I'm not entirely comfortable with you being in the girl's dorms," she explained. "This is getting more and more rapey by the second."

"Is that even a word?" Tono asked.

"It should be," she muttered. "With you around, there's been need to use it."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Thanks. Glad to know what you think of me."

Misaki smirked slightly, amused. "I'll let you stay if you'll promise to keep your clothes on."

Tono winked. "Will do."

They stood in silence for a few seconds. Tono leaned against the dresser, idly peeking into a drawer. Misaki slapped his hand away, and the awkwardness between them became almost tangible.

"So," she began. "What were you planning on doing over here, anyway?"

He shrugged.

"Have you got anything interesting on you?" Misaki tried again. "I haven't got much to do."

Tono turned out the pockets of his pants: string, a crumpled piece of paper, a permanent marker, and a couple coins. He was quiet for a moment, and then produced a stack of black cards from his jacket pocket with a smile. "Ta-da! Uno!"

Misaki raised an eyebrow. "Why on earth do you just happen to have an Uno deck in your pocket?"

"I borrowed it from Hayami on the way down here. Hadn't played in a while, and I thought it'd be fun," he explained.

"So, then," she shrugged. "Shall we?"

Tono looked around. "Where?"

"I dunno," Misaki sighed. "We can play on the bed, I guess." She backtracked at the smirk on his face. "Or the floor."

"I'm down with the floor," he grinned, flopping down and leaning back against the wall. "I mean, it's not my thing, but if you want to, then have it your way…"

"This is a card game, not sex," Misaki scolded firmly. "You deal."

"Why do I have to deal?" Tono complained.

She handed him the deck. "Because you're annoying."

"I'm the guest!" he protested.

Misaki scoffed. "Hardly."

"Fine, fine." Tono took the deck, shuffling it skillfully. "I'll do it, because I am a gentleman."

"Gentlemen don't speak in innuendo," Misaki pointed out.

He huffed indignantly. "Neither do I." He corrected his statement before Misaki could interrupt. "Well, not _all_ the time."

"Whatever you say," she replied. "Don't put down the deck now, it's seven cards, not five."

"What are you, the Uno police?"

"It's in the _rules_, Tono."

He scoffed. "Like anybody reads the rules."

Misaki blinked. "I do."

"See, this is why you're suck a killjoy," Tono said, tossing her another two cards and flipping over the first one on top of the deck. "It's because you play by the rules."

"You are _so _going to end up breaking the law someday."

"Yeah, but will I get caught?"

Misaki faced him seriously after she tossed down a blue seven. "Yes. You're an idiot."

He placed his red seven over the blue one. "Fine, then. What do you see me getting busted for?"

"Oh, I don't know." Misaki idly shuffled the position of her cards. "Something retarded and easily avoidable. Drinking and driving, maybe. Drugs."

"You think I'm a druggie type?"

She shrugged. "Could be." She thought a bit more. "You could sleep with a minor. That seems likely."

"I'm not a pedophile!" he protested.

Misaki scoffed skeptically. "Do you have any idea how many times you've hit on me in the last five minutes?"

"Such the narcissist, Misaki-chan. Thinking that anytime anyone talks to you, it must mean they want you." Tono hit her with a draw two after she changed the color to yellow. "It must come from hanging out with all those stupid boys."

"Don't talk like you're not one of them," she replied coolly, taking two cards from the top of the deck.

"You know what?" Tono said after a few second's strategizing. "This game could be _so_ much more interesting."

Misaki smiled amusedly. "More interesting how? You mean play for money?"

"We could always play strip."

She raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "I thought that was poker."

He grinned. "It could be anything, as long as you're creative."

"To be honest, I'm not sure either of us is that creative," Misaki said. "And, for this, I'm not sure I want us to be."

"Oh, it's not hard," Tono explained. "Let's just say that for every time that you get to Uno, the other person takes something off. See, there."

"I thought you promised you wouldn't be taking your clothes off if you wanted to stay in here."

"I never said I would be taking anything off, necessarily." He smirked, putting another draw two on top of the first one. "Judging by the way things are going; you'll be the one who'll end up naked."

His challenging expression was much too tempting. "You are _so _on."

He put down two reverses and a skip. "Uno."

Misaki pulled the sweatshirt over her head, balling it up and throwing it across the room. "Bastard."

"You want to give up now?" he teased.

She scoffed, slapping down a draw four wild. "Bring it."

"Blue," she added as an afterthought.

The game progressed fairly equally. Tono's hand stayed, for the most part, stable, while Misaki's gradually whittled down. He triumphantly played another draw two, but paled as she smirked. The move had given her a color opening to hit him with an onslaught of skips and reverses that left her with a single card in her hand.

"See here," she laughed teasingly, waving the card at him. "Your turn." To her surprise, he offered no protest. With a victorious grin, he pulled off his shoe.

"That is in no way fair!" Misaki exclaimed. "That cannot count!"

"Shoes count, why wouldn't they?" he shrugged.

"You came prepared for this, didn't you!" she accused.

Tono replied with a tone of sarcastic hurt. "I did no such thing!"

"Oh, just play," Misaki commanded. He put down a yellow two, and she drew a card in response. "Uno," she declared, placing down the yellow nine.

He tossed his other shoe at her. "No problem."

Misaki drew again, and looked up at him. "What happens if I win?"

"Get a new hand?"

She rolled her eyes, sighing heavily. "I mean, how much do you have to take off? I was thinking three."

"Three?" Tono exclaimed. "For what?"

Misaki punctuated each word by putting up a finger. "For Uno, for the last card, and for winning in general."

He groaned. "No way!"

"One more, just for complaining," she growled threateningly, throwing down a wild and a zero. "Just do it."

Shaking off any shred of hesitation, Tono peeled off each sock and shrugged his jacket from his shoulders. Misaki raised an eyebrow. "I know, I know," he told her. "One more." With a bit of an unnecessary flourish, he pulled his shirt over his head. "It's not like I'm shy about it."

She gave him the once-over, her eyebrows nearly disappearing up into her bangs. "Maybe you should be." Misaki laughed mercilessly at the horrified look on his face. "Kidding, kidding," she confirmed. "I've seen worse."

"Gee, thanks," he replied, slightly disappointed.

She poked him in the chest. "Take a compliment like a man, can't you?"

He blinked. "That was a compliment?"

"Oh, whatever," Misaki laughed, drawing a new hand and arranging it by color. "Just put something down."

Her amusement didn't last long. Her latest hand was stubbornly yellow and blue (there couldn't possibly be this many blue cards in the deck, could there? Where were all the reds?), while Tono's seemed to lean towards red and green. She never had the number she needed, even though her hand was steadily getting too big to hold. Worst of all, Tono was winning now. By a lot.

He played his second-to-last card proudly, smirking as she paled. Quickly deciding between her shorts or her camisole, Misaki slipped her shorts off, leaving her in merely her tank-top and underwear. Tono opened his mouth to remark, but she shut him up silently with a fierce glare and slapped a blue three on top of Tono's green one with more force than was probably necessary.

Tono drew two cards, and a smile crept on to Misaki's face as he played another blue. She played one of her many in response, but her expression turned serious once he changed the color back to green again and waved his single remaining card in her face.

"Look, can we just stop now?" she pleaded.

"Is that a forfeit, then?" he grinned.

Misaki thought for a moment, then reached behind her back and fumbled with something. After a few seconds, she disentangled her bra from her shirt and tossed it across the room. Tono's eyes followed its arc, widened in disbelief.

"That _cannot _be fair!" he protested.

"I thought the entire point of this game was to play dirty," Misaki replied. "No matter how humiliating it may be."

"Humiliating how?" he asked, chuckling at her expression. "Humiliating as in you've just thrown your bra on the ground, or humiliating as in I'm kicking your ass at Uno?"

"Both," she scowled, feeling increasingly naked in only her thin shirt and pretending she didn't notice his eyes lingering on her body.

She drew six cards before being able to play a green three. Tono drew once and easily put down an eight. His eyes lit up, and Misaki took a deep breath when she realized that nothing was left to take off without ending up half-naked.

"Well, well, well…" Tono laughed gleefully. "How are you going to get out of this one, Misaki-chan?"

Misaki bit her lip, the edges of her mouth forming a wry sort of smile. "Come on now, Tono. Do the right thing. Don't make the poor underage girl take her top off."

"The top's not the only option," he replied jokingly. "Either's fine with me."

"See, this is why I keep calling you a pedophile," she groaned. "Now put your shirt back on, and we can end this, shall we?"

Tono raised his eyebrows. "Oh, but it's the rules, Misaki."

"Screw the rules," she replied. "This is starting to sound more and more like sexual assault of a minor."

"So, if you were my age, we wouldn't have this problem?"

"Technically, yes," she said, raising her voice slightly. "But I still wouldn't strip for you!"

"Oh, come on," he pleaded. "Finish what you started."

"I'm sure the teachers would just love to hear what we've been doing in here," Misaki threatened. "Or Tsubasa. I know he'd get a real kick out of it."

Tono's mouth fell open. "You wouldn't dare."

"I assure you that I would."

He smiled slightly, but still managed to remain lightly serious. "Well, how about this. When I'm out of here, and you're out of here, and it's not illegal and nobody cares about a four-year age difference anymore, we could see if you'll have changed your mind."

Misaki laughed, reaching out to brush her fingers through his hair. "Yeah, or maybe not. Get dressed."

* * *

Yeah, I don't know. TonoMisaki's become my newest pet pairing, nearly up there with TsubasaMisaki. I don't care that they contradict each other. Whatever.

Review, if you feel so inclined. I appreciate it.


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